Skip to main content

Engagement

 Preparing for the Engagement ceremony
1. An auspicious date for the engagement has to be chosen according to the stars of bride and groom.
2. Once the auspicious day has been finalized, on another auspicious day before the engagement a bowl of payasam ,100g pakku (areca nut) (vet or kali) and 100g turmeric(veleri) are to be kept in front of the deity and poojai is performed and this signifies the commencement of the engagement decorum
3. In the earlier days the engagement ceremony would be traditionally held only in the brides home and a very close set of relatives would be invited. From the grooms family an elder member ( a lady ) will secure fresh beautiful fresh flowers on the brides plait as a formal gesture to the beginning of all the proceedings . The formalities linked to the wedding like dates and other ceremonies will be discussed and finalized on that day.
4. With the changing times people are finding it more convenient and fashionable to organize these ceremonies in a more convenient and modern way in hotels or smaller wedding hall and are not giving preference to the cosy engagement ceremony traditions like old times
5. A Vastaram for our favorite deity Lord Ganesha is generally a perquisite along with the patolam.This is normally a requirement from the bride’s family. (not compulsory)

Preparations from the house of The Bride
1. The stage should sing of beauty and elegance and also befit the traditional style . Two banana leaves (big sized ) should have the following items neatly arranged in the particular order manjal pilliyar, pilliyar photo,vilaku(facing east), a measure (nalzi) filled with (paddy or rice), broken coconut, banana, beetal leaf with pakku, incence sticks, camphor plate , bell , panchapathram, vibothi, sandanam, Kumkum, big kalkandu and flowers. Before the engagement ensure all these things are ready.
2. The ceremony commences by lighting of lamp and a poojai performed by an elderly lady member from the brides family
3.The bride and the groom’s family should have all these items in the thamboolam: religiously and tastefully decorated to their capacity . beetal leaves,vettu or kali pakku (100g), velari mangal (100g), 3 coconut cleaned and smeared with turmeric, 2 dozen banana, other fruits like oranges, pomegranate can also be added, seena kalkandu (big kalkandu),Kumkum cheppu, a flower ball.Additionally two garlands will be placed for the bride in the groom’s thamboolam.Muthruthum patolam will be placed on this thamboolam.
4. One thamboolam will contain rose water, sandanam and Kumkum.
5.The thambollams have to be placed before the lamp.
6.According to our traditional practice the groom was not invited to his own engagement to keep things very sacred and pious . With changing times and with mor open mindedness the grooms are also allowed to grace the ceremony .
7. If the engagement ceremony is to be held on a Sunday, Monday, Friday or Saturday Saturday the parents of the would be couple must sit in south-north direction. If the engagement is held on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday the parents must sit on the east-west direction.
8.The bride’s parents spray rose water and offer sandanam and Kumkum to the groom’s parents and the same action is reciprocated the brides parents to
9. The Thamboolams are exchanged as a sign of acceptance and everyone is happy .
10. The patolam will contain the time and venue of the marriage functions such as Muthuram, engagement, kalparuppu, pon uriki, pandalkal, maruveedu, kovil pakku, mapallai alipppu, pen alipppu,satrasamalong with the family history of bride and groom.
11. Two copies of the patolam wil kept on both thamboolam, will be exchanged.
12. Before the bride all decked up in her grand splendor the patolam will be read by an elderly person from bride’s side.
13. The bride is asked to take the center stage and the groom’s mother gifts her with the engagement sari and jewel (optional)
14.An elderly lady from the grooms family presents her with a beautiful garland .
15. The would-be bride arrives all decked up in the premier sari she receives from her would be family all bejeweled and decked up
16. After the engagement is over, a glass of milk will be served to the guest.
17. Either on the same day or next day a letter will be posted to the eldest of the family in odd number (e.g.3 or 5 members), stating that the marriage is fixed and invitations will be sent later(handful of closed family members). This letter should be written on a white paper in red ink.
18.A gala meal will be served after all the formalities are over engagement.

 



 




                                                                        Muhurtha Patolam




 
 
Model Letter to be sent to the close relatives immediately after the engagement 


 
 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pandakkal or mutharakalnatal

  1. The auspicious date and time for the function is usually announced on the day of engagement. 2. A bamboo/wooden stick approx. 9ft in length is taken and Painted alternatively with white and kavi color(limestone). 3. In a yellow piece of cloth add little navadanayam, partikootai, one ruppe coin, then tie it with a red rope. Tie a bunch of mango leaves along with the tied yellow cloth on one side of the stick. 4. In the north eastern side a hole which will hold the bamboo stick is dug . The place nearest to the stick is cleaned very well and close to that place facing east keep the following items: manjal pilliyar, a measure (nalzi) (with paddy or rice), broken coconut, banana, beetal leaf with pakku, incence sticks, camphor plate , bell , panchapathram, vibothi, sandanam, Kumkum ,vilaku, and flowers. 5. At an auspicious time an elderly female member of the family will pour little milk in the hole followed by some navadanayam, one rupee coin, navaratnam stones(optional) pe...
Post a Comment
Read more

Nalungu

  1. The Groom is invited to sit facing the East and the bride facing the west. 2. They will start the proceedings by rolling to and fro a beautiful ball made of Flowers and after some time with a silver coconut . This is a ritual to make the newly weds comfortable and familiar to one another and also adds a lot of fun and frolic to the occasion .    3. The bride sprinkles rose water on her husband and smears sandal and Kumkum on right foot of the groom with devotion and reverence . The bride is expected to stand and perform these rituals    4. The groom repeats the same but on the right hand of the bride with equal love and admiration he generally performs this ritual seated .  5. They play some games like pallankuzhi. 6. Twelve roasted appalams (sutta appalam) are brought by members of the family , Out of that six will be placed above the grooms head and attempted to be broken expecting all the pieces to fall all over him . He is helped by his frien...
Post a Comment
Read more

Pillai Mattruthal

Pillai Matrudal and other rituals    In a   Thamboolam place a silk cloth (red or yellow).   A small statue of Lord Krishna   in a crawling position should be placed alongside the cloth.        The immediate family members of the bride and the groom place some personal jewels on the Thamboolam        This thamboolam will be exchanged by the bride and groom thrice. The newly wed is made to hold a handful of raw rice with a raw banana. The kappu and the raw banana are cut by an elderly member or the priest. After this ritual the couple is allowed to go out.        The newly weds are   blessed by all.        A big vessel filled with water should   be ready.   A knife and a ring are placed inside the water . A few spoons of turmeric and Kumkum are mixed well with the water containing the knife and ring. As a time for relaxation a...
Post a Comment
Read more